Dr. Sonia Palleck is an orthodontist, author, and a self-proclaimed love advocate. After a traumatic family experience, a self-awakening journey led to seeking a bigger purpose in life even with an established career. One day, an encounter in the middle of the night led her through a path to discovery and finally, fulfillment. Culminating in her writing a book series titled Leave The Little Light On – a story about a young girl named Athena. Debu Living recently chatted with Dr. Palleck about this incredible life journey.
Take us on this wonderful journey that you embarked on in the course of writing your book that transformed your life.
It’s how your mind and your heart are in relationship to each other. I began to see it in everyone else as well. A thing that I had never seen before, you know, I had heard about it, like, look inside, see the inside of people, don’t judge them from the outside. And I would always think that’s impossible. My book is not a self-help book necessarily, but if you read this book series, it’s going to take you on the inward journey with this girl Athena.
How did this awakening intersect with your job as an orthodontist?
It did all sort of intersect, very interestingly. I was in so much pain, at all this loss. I had lost everyone and everything in such a short time. And I just found myself completely destitute and in so much pain. And what was left was to go to work. You know, when people say work is good for grief — But when I would go to work, what I found was that children played such an important role, and when I was completely present at the moment with say, an 8-year-old child who is there for a consult or treatment and just put all of my energy into them as though to give myself to them and say, I’m so magnetized to the joy coming from you. It was such a relief. It felt like medicine.
It wasn’t the purpose of why I was doing it, but people would say Dr. Palleck was so loving. And it struck me because it was often and regular and that sort of rolled one onto the other. Doing this daily led me to a discovery of who I was and provided a clear path to what I should be doing with the rest of my life. I was hoping the grief or whatever I was going through would be dealt with by work. But then I found healing in that process and in that environment.
What happened next after this discovery?
There are two Isabel Wilkerson books I read — The Warmth of Other Suns and Caste, these two books are excellent. And she wrote at the back of the book, Caste “The World Needs Radical Empathy.” And that sat with me.
I was sitting there and thinking about how you create radical empathy. Because I think of myself as an empath, most people, if they’ve had trauma, become empaths. You know how people are feeling because you’ve been impacted somehow. And so, I thought ‘How do you create radical empathy?’ That’s what my book series does. Everybody who reads it will say, I relate to Athena. She’s so relatable. I feel everything she feels because empathy is the key to healing.
Also, love is the absence of suffering. This I know now, but I lived till I was 50 without knowing this. I never knew this and neither does the whole society. This understanding that I have is so incredibly important to our healing.
So, one day I was lying in bed, it was 4:00 AM and I had to get up for work. Then I heard a man’s voice outside of my consciousness say very clearly, “It’s time to write.”
And then I began to write, and it began to pour out of me. All of a sudden I was in this little girl’s body. And then I recognized myself at 3 years old in my childhood home. That experience is like the synopsis of Gen X trauma. The book ended up being four full books.
What does the future hold for you?
There’s more writing in me. And also speaking, I’m going to be in Speaker Slam in Toronto, on March 26th. I got accepted into being able to do that. And Human Connection is the theme of that contest. But I think my energy is most into being a loving advocate because I think that’s what the world needs. And this is my destiny because I have walked the other side. I understand where I came from, and I empathize.
What’s the one thing you want Sonia to be remembered for?
I think that she helped people find love. And if I helped someone, even one person remember that they are loved, then my life would’ve been worthwhile.
Chinenye Emezie | Contributing Writer
